The Silent Universe
by I don't write things
Summary: Myra Henle, a neutral party in the war, joined the First Order for an easy way to get off her home planet and escape her mundane life. After she arrived at her station on the Finalizer, she regretfully realized her life would only become even more mundane; until she started to notice the new Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, had an odd habit of talking to empty rooms. M for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I have no ownership of the Star Wars franchise or any Star Wars characters/other canon Star Wars content used in this story.**

* * *

Myra Henle gazed in the mirror, with feelings of anxiousness and excitement in her new uniform. It consisted of a light gray shirt, with a high collar that surrounded her neck, long sleeves, and a black belt with a freshly polished silver buckle; which hugged her waist. She was grateful for the belt, it accentuated her barely existent curves. She thought about how small her chest was; and how if it weren't for her hips being slightly wider than the rest of her frame, it would look as if her body had no shape at all. She would certainly look shapeless without the belt. Not that it mattered what she looked like where she was going, she thought as her eyes trailed down her reflection and the straight legged pants that were the same color as her top, down to where they tucked in to her knee length black boots. They seemed comfortable enough now, and she hoped she wouldn't be proven wrong by the end of her first day.

She had been informed that her shifts would be long, she imagined unbearably so. A minimum of ten hours, maybe more, depending on the rank and position, which all the new recruits had yet to learn. All she knew, with great relief, was that she would be stationed on board the finalizer and would be informed of the details of her duties by the recruiting officers on the way there.

Myra could barely contain her joy when she received the message informing her that the finalizer would be her station, she figured she must have scored high at the academy in order to earn a place on such an important ship at only 20 years old. Her parents expressed their pride, but she couldn't care less. They weren't horrible parents; however, she had spent her whole life trying to escape their prying eyes and suffocating presence.

After one last glance Myra stepped away from the mirror and grabbed her small suitcase. It amazed her how unattached she was to her life on Fondor; so unattached that everything fit in one small bag. She had thought about bringing several bags full of books with her, as it was a treasured pastime, but narrowed it down to three books and a small sketchbook with plenty of different drawing materials, two extra uniforms, three pairs of sleeping clothes, and one leisurely outfit; should she ever receive an opportunity to lounge around for a day. She doubted she would get one, but Myra always liked to be prepared. The only thing she was missing was canvas, paint supplies, and her easel. Painting was her true love and happiness, but such things were simply too difficult to transport all the way across the galaxy to the Finalizer. She couldn't risk letting her first impression on that ship be that she was a monumental pain in the ass over a hobby. She decided she would have to hope she got sent to a planet that had the required materials, while on a mission, and have enough free time there to buy what she needed.

Myra lifted the rather light suitcase and headed out of her room and downstairs where her parents awaited her in the sitting room. Her father had thick, dark chocolate hair and light blue eyes, both of which Myra inherited; but he was much taller than her. Her mother had far lighter reddish blonde hair, and hazel eyes. Myra and her mother were much closer in stature, and almost the exact same height, though they often argued about which of the two was taller. And Myra often noticed how they had very similar faces, with sharp cheekbones, angular jawlines, round faces, and full lips. Everyone always told Myra that she and her mother looked so alike, especially their smiles. The big difference there, however, was that her mother had crooked teeth. Myra's teeth were perfectly straight, like her father's, without any orthodontic procedures. The only features Myra seemed to have that could not be attributed to one or both of her parents, was her small, slightly upturned nose and extremely pale skin. Both of her parents had downturned noses, and were tanner than she was. No matter how much time she spent outdoors Myra could never achieve that sun kissed glow. Only ever scathing sunburns followed by two miserable weeks of peeling.

"I can't believe you've only just returned from the academy, and you're already leaving again," Myra's mother remarked, pouting.

"That's what happens when you get a job." Myra's tone was dry, she didn't care much for drawn out goodbyes and couldn't wait to leave that wretched planet again. However, she did have some reservations about living in space. Myra knew it was far more dangerous, especially if she gets caught in the middle of a battle. That could be particularly dangerous since she failed miserably at her battle training at the academy, she was very fortunate to have flourished in all other subjects.

"We're going to miss you," Myra's father said as both he and her mother hugged her around the suitcase she was still holding, and using as her own mental justification for not hugging back.

"You too," Myra stated as she shrugged off her parents and started making her way to the door.

"Contact us and let us know how you're doing as soon as you can!" Myra's mother called after her once she had crossed fully through the doorway.

"I know!" Myra shouted back, annoyed that her parents would still try to check up on her, and knowing full well that she wouldn't even attempt to contact them. They were never bad parents, but that did not prevent her from being an ungrateful daughter.

Myra had left herself plenty of time to walk to the docking station where she would find the first order ship that would transport her and the other recruits from Fondor to Coruscant, and from there to all of their assigned ships or bases. She knew when she left so early that she would be waiting for the rest of the recruits and recruiting officers for a while, but she didn't mind. It was a slightly warmer day than normal; even if it hadn't been, it would be far better to wait there than listen to her parents whining for another hour. While she waited, Myra wondered with unfathomable curiosity what her actual job would be. While the location was enough to keep her content with her position, she would still be angry if she was assigned some mundane task. Something like overseeing the laundry droids, or working in the kitchens would make her absolutely furious.

Myra watched, as one by one the other recruits started to gather in the area. She suspected that, like herself, many of them were joining the First Order just to get off the planet and out into the galaxy; perhaps some were there to better their financial situations. Looking around at the 23 recruits that had slowly begun to gather, Myra could tell none of them were loyalists. None of them really cared about the cause, they simply knew that was the route that was in their best interest.

Some of the other young men and women had begun to socialize and introduce themselves to each other, but Myra stayed off to the edge of the docking station; away from everyone else. She couldn't see the point in trying to get to know people, that after a few more hours, she may never see again. There was no point in putting herself through the stress of introductions, when there was nothing to gain from it.

After another 20 minutes of boredly watching everyone else socialize the recruiting officers had finally arrived, and herded all the recruits onto the small ship that would take them to Coruscant.

Myra didn't mind flying most of the time, but this time as the ship ascended, leaving orbit, there was an apprehensiveness that seized her gut and heart. Her whole life she had known she was ready to leave, and now she was hit with the sudden realization that it was too late to turn back. Whatever would happen, she would have to see it through; regardless of how good or bad things could get.


	2. Chapter 2

Myra's transition from her home planet to the Finalizer had ended far too soon. Looking out at the massive ship from the, significantly, smaller one the recruits were on, Myra felt minuscule. She could feel the knots twisting in her stomach, and a slight sense of nausea, with her growing anticipation. Myra wasn't intimidated by the job itself, she had been assigned to an archiving unit. She knew that would be boring and easy, but the newness and solidarity of that ship and everything it represented glared at her the way a predator glares at its prey. It left Myra with the immediate knowledge that no matter how long she stayed there, how far up the ranks she moved, or how much she liked her job she could never truly belong there among all the order and rigid protocol.

After the smaller transport docked, and all the recruits stepped out onto the Finalizer for the first time, Myra felt a stinging dryness in her nose. She assumed it was from all the recycled air, and wondered how long it might take for her nose to start bleeding. However, the focus on that sensation did not last long as all of the Storm-troopers bustling around, fulfilling their tasks, quickly grabbed her attention. She had always known the First Order had a plethora of Storm-troopers, but never before could she truly understand the magnitude of the numbers and power they held; and this was only one ship. The First Order had hundreds of ships, and hundreds of bases, and Myra wondered, for the briefest moment, how the Resistance ever thought they had the remotest chance of winning this war.

It was true, they had a young new Jedi now, but the First Order had one too. Perhaps he wasn't as good and pure as everyone heard the girl was, but, if anything, that should only make it easier for him to defeat her. Even if Kylo Ren failed, the First Order certainly had the numbers required for victory. The Resistance had not acquired such numbers. Myra couldn't believe anyone in the Resistance was still alive at all. With such strength and resources assaulting them at every opportunity, they should all have been wiped out at the very beginning.

The realization about how impossible it should have been for the Resistance to stay alive, and the baffling notion that they had done it anyway, made the Resistance seem truly formidable to Myra for the first time in her life. The only way they could possibly be able to win any battle had to have been through fierce tactic and unpredictable timing.

Myra was pulled from her epiphany by a sinewy man with tangerine hair speaking to the recruiting officers. She noted how he was dressed very similarly to everyone else, the only exceptions being that his outfit was black instead of gray, he had an additional coat, and an absurd, useless hat with flaps that stuck up on the side and a wide brim. Myra wondered for a brief moment, why he thought he could reasonably pull that accessory off. Who the hell needs a hat like that in space, there was no sun anywhere in sight.

"General Hux, sir; we have arrived with the new recruits." The recruiting officer stated the obvious, the General knew exactly who they were the moment he saw their transport come into view from the windows of the Finalizer. However, he chose to keep that to himself. He fancied himself a bit more civil than his commanding counterpart, whom he thanked the stars had not come to address the recruits as well.

"Excellent, have them well acquainted with their posts and then you may show them to their rooms." The General had a faint, and somewhat smug smile on his face. He had not necessarily seemed smug about the situation, or even his station in comparison to his initiates; but rather in the sense that he was just an overly confident and smug person in general. Myra thought about what his face might have looked like after the First Order's latest failure in destroying the Resistance. She imagined he was crushed by it, and angry; he was far too proud to not be affected by such a loss. However, she wouldn't know until the next failure. And now that the First Order's former Supreme Leader was deceased, and the new one had a notoriously high temper, Myra was certain such a failure would happen again. Now that she had begun to wonder about his face, she hoped to god she would be there to see his face when the failure did happen.

Myra did not realize how absorbed she was in her thoughts, she did not realize that the entire time she had been walking with the one other recruit that was in archiving, and she had not paid any attention to how they were getting there. As Myra listened to the heavy footsteps of the recruiting officer in front of her, she decided it wasn't worth it to even try to figure it out now.

Instead she shifted her attention to the boy walking silently beside her. She was very short, around five feet and two inches; this boy was maybe three or four inches taller than her. He was more muscular than someone she would have expected to be assigned to archives, and she wondered what his exam scores had looked like to land him the same job as her. She noted his sandy blond hair, which fell just above his eyes. It looked so soft and fine, Myra had to resist the urge to reach out and touch it; beside, she was positive she would have the opportunity at some point. Many boys had bad habits of doting on her, and she was hoping that this boy would not be the exception. He had a beautiful nose, which was straight, with the most adorable upturned bottom. It almost reminded her of a perfect ski slope; not that she had ever actually been skiing. Her eyes wandered down to his lips; they were just full enough to be appealing. And he was the perfect height for her to kiss him, most boys were far too tall. Even the color of his skin was the perfect shade of light tan. The only thing she still needed to see was his eye color, but even without it she could plainly see how conventionally attractive this boy was; she even wondered what the First Order policy on dating co-workers was for a moment.

It did not take long for her to get her wish in seeing this boy's eye color as he looked directly at her with his perfect hazel eyes and she realized she had been staring quite obviously. Myra quickly looked away hoping he had not noticed quite how long she was staring, but he had noticed the moment she looked at him. He immediately decided he loved the way she stared and he loved the way her cheeks turned rosy when he made it clear he noticed.

"My name is Luca," said the boy, attempting to make Myra more comfortable.

"Myra," was all she replied with, choosing to wallow in embarrassment instead of conversing with him.

The rest of the walk to archives was silent, save for the footsteps of the recruiting officer; who was desperately trying to hand them off to their new supervisor as soon as humanly possible.


	3. Chapter 3

The trip to archives had been short, Myra and Luca had met their direct supervisor; a tall man named Akio. He was rather quick about showing them the proper steps to complete the job, Myra and Luca had both been expecting more of an introduction to their workspace. Almost as soon as they were in they were rushed right back out. Both had guessed that it must have been close to the end of Akio's shift, and both were perfectly happy to leave and become acquainted with their rooms.

Myra's room was more private than she had expected. It was still rather small, but she half expected to be in a small barrack like the Storm-troopers. Instead she received her own room with a twin sized bed in the middle of the back wall, a small desk in the corner, and a bookshelf and closet in the corners on the opposite wall. Off to the right there was a tiny bathroom with a small sink, stand up shower, and toilet. It was somewhat cramped, but Myra figured she wouldn't actually be in the room enough for it to matter anyway. Myra emptied her books and art supplies that she had packed and stacked them neatly on the bookshelf. Even with the things she had brought it still looked bare, along with her closet once she unpacked the few changes of clothes she had brought.

As Myra gazed at the sparse furniture in front of her, she was hit by sudden pang of pain in her stomach. She realized for the first time how long it had been since she had eaten anything, and turned out of her room immediately to find the cafeteria.

Myra wandered aimlessly for over an hour trying to find it. She vaguely remembered stopping outside of it on the way to the archive room, but had been far too distracted by Luca's beautiful face to actually pay attention to how they got there in the first place. Eventually she gave up on trying to find the cafeteria and decided to focus on finding another person, but there was no such luck on that front either. It was like that level of the Finalizer was a ghost town. She eventually gave up on the floor she resided on, and moved to the nest floor up as soon as she found an elevator.

As soon as Myra stepped out of the elevator she could hear talking, and no voice had ever sounded so sweet to her ears as the voice she heard in that moment. She could almost begin to feel the relief in her stomach at the thought of finally having found someone who could give her directions. She walked brusquely toward the sound of the voice, eager to find the owner as quickly as possible, but not wanting to outright run and look foolish when she did find them. Myra walked down the long hallway and took two left turns before she realized that the voice didn't sound sweet, it sounded angry and malicious.

She slowed her pace dramatically, barely creeping up on the open door; peering into the room. There stood one man, all alone. He was extremely tall, at least six feet, probably more, with his back turned to her. Like General Hux, he wore all black; but his uniform didn't look as polished. It certainly didn't match the style of every other uniform worn on the ship. It had so much more texture, but she couldn't quite make out what the texture or pattern was from her distance. He stood with his back to her, and she couldn't even begin to guess who he was without seeing his face. The only discernible feature aside from his outfit was beautiful, thick, wavy, raven hair that just barely reached his shoulders.

Myra noticed that he was silent now and perfectly still, and realized that she was too; she was even holding her breath in hopes of not being noticed before she could at least guess who he was.

And suddenly out of nowhere, with all the anguish in the world in his voice, he spoke out to nothing, "You ran. I could have given you everything, but you ran back to the Resistance."

Myra immediately moved over to the side of the door frame, where she was hidden behind the wall, but still leaned forward as much as possible without getting caught to eavesdrop on his monologue. She noticed how quickly his tone became enraged, regardless of the normal volume as he said, "You're still holding on, after everything. You know the truth about who they are and Snoke is gone. There was nothing to stop us, there's still nothing to stop us."

Myra stayed for another minute, just listening to the silence, wondering what the hell that was about and who was meant to hear it. It certainly wasn't her, and there was nothing to gain by remaining there. She turned around and walked away at a casual pace, wondering how completely deranged the man in that room was. She wondered how someone who had clearly lost their sanity was able to keep a position on the ship. He certainly wasn't the person to ask for directions.

Myra walked for another thirty minutes before finally finding a Storm-trooper that was kind enough to walk her down to the cafeteria. By the time they got there it was mostly cleared out of both food and people, but Myra was happy enough that there was anything left at all; even if it was some sort of gray bland mush and various sides of vegetables.

After Myra had finished eating she decided she wanted to sleep as soon as possible. She promptly left the cafeteria in search of her room, and promptly got lost. Again.

Yet again, Myra set out on the search for anyone who could help her find her room. It didn't take long for her to find someone; but the instant she saw him round the corner on the opposite end of the short hallway, her already foul mood soured even more. She glared at the boy in front of her, and had dearly wished looks could kill, because he would have died instantly. She looked at the same medium height, dark olive skin, long curly hair, and soft brown eyes. Nothing had changed since the last time she saw him; and the last time she saw him, she loathed him.

"Hello Myra." He looked at her smugly and she felt the overwhelming urge to rip the look right off his weasel face.

"Fuck off," Myra spat, as venomously as she was capable of.

"That's no way to talk to your superior."

"I don't give a damn about your rank, stay the fuck away from me."

The smugness left his face, now he was just as angry as Myra. "If you want to remain on this ship you'd do well to remember your fucking place."

"I know exactly where my place is. And I know no matter how many threats you make you can't do a damn thing to get rid of me; as much authority as you pretend to have, I'm not stupid enough to actually believe it."

When Kylo Ren started to walk up on that hallway he found himself stopping, not because of the quarrel he could hear, but because of the presence he could feel. Regardless of Snoke's claim that he created the force bond between Kylo Ren and Rey, it existed after he was gone. And toward the end of his conversation with her, as he was saying his last piece, he felt an unfamiliar presence outside of the room. And as he walked up on the hallway he felt that presence again, realizing it was the girl. He could feel the anger and hate seeping out of her body and thought for a brief moment that if she could have harnessed the force, she could be strong enough to rival him. All the rage she felt, just at bumping into someone could have made her unbelievably strong, and Kylo Ren thought to himself what a shame it was that he could feel all that hate, and no trace of the force in her.

"No, I don't make empty threats. I'm not a coward like you. I don't run from things, like you." Kylo Ren vaguely recognized the voice as belonging to a low ranking officer, but no one he knew the name of; or cared to know the name of for that matter.

"Excuse me?" Myra's voice was cold enough to give him frostbite. "What exactly was I 'cowardly' running from, you mother fucking asshole?" Myra had made air quotes around the boy's use of the word cowardly with her hands. Her tone made her disdain for him and his assessment of her personality rather palpable.

"From me! I loved you, I gave you everything!" He was shouting now, livid that she didn't immediately know the pain seeing her brought him. "I loved you and you ran away because you were too afraid of a fucking commitment. You are so emotionally shut down that you can't even learn to let someone love you."

"You never loved me, you loved who you wanted me to be. Who you spent three years romanticizing me to be, until you finally had your chance. And you couldn't handle it when I wasn't that person. You tried to change me at every opportunity you had, and that's not what love really is. So stop pretending I broke your heart, and just leave me the fuck alone Adam."

Too angry to speak now, Adam stalked past Myra down the other end of the hall. Myra began to cry the second he was out of sight. Silent tears streaming down her face, as she saw a blurry figure come around the corner after a minute of just standing there.

Normally Kylo Ren wouldn't care about meeting a new recruit, but what she said had struck a chord with him. For as long as he could remember there was always someone trying to change him, any form of possible love or praise was conditional on him being who someone else wanted him to be. It came from his family, when he first began to struggle with darkness. Then with Snoke, when he began to struggle with the light. Now with Rey, only willing to accept him and fight alongside him if he follows her to the Resistance. In that moment, the girl standing in front of him sobbing, was the most relatable person he had ever met; and the pain he felt in her was so similar to the pain he felt the first time he experienced this situation, so many years ago.

"Why are you crying?" He asked her, even though he already knew.

"It's not important. How long have you been there?" Myra asked nervously, and she hoped to god he had not heard anything, and was mortified he had seen her crying. Now that she could see him in front of her she knew exactly who he was, and she was terrified of him. She could recognize that it was Kylo Ren the instant she saw the scar that divided his entire face in half, and she knew the reputation he had, she had heard countless tales of his insane temper.

"I just came around the corner a second ago." It was a bold faced lie, he had heard the whole thing; but Myra believed him, and she was relieved.

"Sorry, I don't mean to be in the way. I can't find my room." Myra said anxiously, hoping he wouldn't be upset that she was still just standing there in front of him.

"What's the room number?"

"321-G"

"Around the corner I came from there's an elevator. Go up a level, take two rights and two lefts. That will get you to the right hallway."

"Thank you," Myra barely squeaked out as she looked at the ground and began to walk in that direction.

Kylo Ren gave a single nod in response and walked past her down the hallway, turning in the opposite direction that Adam had. Myra glanced back at him for a brief moment, hoping she would never run into him or Adam again. By the time she arrived at her room she decided if she did, she would request a transfer to anywhere else she could get. As long as it got her away from either of them.


	4. Chapter 4

Kylo Ren couldn't remember the last time he had an ordinary dream. For years he had only experienced violent force visions in his sleep, of both the past and future, or blissful nothingness. As he sat up in his bed he realized for the first time how much he missed having the types of dreams any normal person would have. He had always been so focused on his goals of achieving his grandfather's legacy and destroying Snoke that he had never even taken a moment to think about how simple everything could have been if he had not been born with the force; which somehow made the dream sweeter. It made him more hopeful and desperate for another conventional dream, regardless of how unlikely that was.

He had dreamed of the girl from the hallway, whose name he still did not know, standing in the middle of a forest, staring out over a massive lake. When he looked across the lake he could still see the other side clearly, but it was miniscule. When he looked left and right down the shore, which was a mix of cold, dark sand and small smooth pebbles, he could not see an end in either direction. The lake must have been significantly wider than it was long. Kylo Ren did not focus on the lake for long, his attention shifted quickly to the girl. He stood several feet behind her, watching her stare at the soft waves in the lake, and it's perfectly clear water, with a certain sense of contentment he had never seen in her in waking life. He did not know if she could ever truly feel what he was seeing, but he stared anyway. He took in her thick, dark chocolate hair which fell to the center of her back. It was perfectly straight, smooth, and shiny. He half imagined if he touched it, it would literally feel like silk. She was still wearing her standard uniform, and he was wearing his regular clothing as well; both of which felt out of place given their setting. It seemed as though they should have been in more relaxed attire.

The girl slowly turned around to face him. She paused for a moment upon seeing Kylo Ren, and he gazed at her startling blue eyes. They were so blue and sharp that they should have seemed cold and mean, but they did not. As she looked on the man in front of her, her eyes looked kind and warm. He noticed then how round her face looked, even though she had high, prominent cheekbones, and an angular jawline.

She began to smile as she looked up at an eagle that soared overhead, and let out a loud screeching sound. He noticed then how beautiful her smile was, with her full pink lips, perfect teeth, and the way her smile made her small, upturned nose crinkle the slightest bit. It made Kylo Ren feel self-conscious to look at her like that. He thought about how his nose was larger and bent down, and how his front teeth buckled into each other the slightest bit. For the first time in a long time, he felt ordinary standing in front of a girl like her.

The girl slowly began to walk up to him, and as she did so Kylo Ren noticed how short she was. If he didn't look down at her he could have seen straight over her head, never noticing she was there at all. Her head barely even reached his shoulders.

"You're late." Her voice was soft and quiet as she spoke, much like the time she spoke to him in the hallway; but it was less strained. There were no traces of anxiousness or fear, which he sensed in her the second she noticed he was in the hallway. This time she sounded expectant and comfortable.

Kylo Ren stood silently and stared at her, as she walked right past him back toward the thickness of the forest. Where the sand began to mix with dirt again she stopped and looked back at him questioningly, so he began to follow her; still keeping a distance of several feet as they moved toward their destination.

After what seemed like a ridiculous amount of time walking through the forest, on a fairly direct path, the pair approached his ship, the TIE silencer. Kylo Ren stopped and walked up to the ship, assuming that they had finally arrived at their destination; but as he turned to look at the girl she continued walking ahead on the path without him. She did not seem to care whether or not he followed anymore, she was determined to get to wherever she was going with or without him. Kylo Ren looked up at his ship one more time before deciding to follow her, his curiosity getting the better of him. He wanted to know what she was looking for at the end of the path they were on.

The remainder of the walk was shorter than expected as they walked up to a clearing with a brick cottage at the center, surrounded on all sides by a garden. A section of the garden off to the left side was designated to growing fruits and vegetables, and the rest of the garden that made its way around the whole cottage comprised of vibrant flowers that varied in size, shape, and color. As the two approached the cottage Kylo Ren noticed there were even window boxes that held small white flowers.

He stopped in front of the door, wondering who this abode belonged to, until he noticed the girl pulled a key from her pocket and unlocked the door. As she stepped inside he followed her quickly and closely for the first time, eager to see what might fill her home.

Much to his disappointment the home was empty. There was nothing but doors and a stairway leading to other rooms. The girl stood still as Kylo Ren searched the cottage rapidly, looking in every room downstairs, and then upstairs; hoping to find something, anything that could give him a better sense of who this girl was. 

As Kylo Ren descended the stairs, utterly disappointed, and walked back into the main room of the house he noticed a fire place, a pile of wood logs, and a small couch that definitely were not there when they first walked into the cottage. He did not question the sudden appearance of these objects, grateful there was something in her home now.

Kylo Ren walked over to the couch, which was only a few feet from the fire place, and sat down as he watched his mystery girl start a fire. The fire grew, and became warm and bright rather quickly. The girl sat next to him and they both stared at the fire for a while, feeling content.

Kylo Ren eventually broke the silence, finally asking the question that had been burning in his throat from the moment he first met her, "What's your name?"

The girl laughed. "Don't be silly, you know my name."

She looked at him and smiled in a way that made him believe her, even though no matter how hard he tried he could not remember hearing her name.


	5. Chapter 5

Myra's first month in archiving had been rather dull, but she had learned more about the incredibly handsome Luca. She learned that he was born on Coruscant, but had spent most of his life traveling. Luca had decided to join the First Order because it was the only consistent thing that could be found on every planet he went to. It was the only thing on all of those planets that had ever left any real impact. Luca had also vaguely mentioned that his parents were against him joining, although he did not say why.

Myra also found out that his favorite color was a hideous shade of olive green, but she knew he couldn't be perfect. He hated spicy food, loved jazz music, gambling, and being the center of attention. He seemed to be the opposite of Myra in most ways. Almost everything he liked she did not, and everything she did like he did not; a detail that did not go unnoticed by either of them.

They had burned through all of the ice breaker topics in a very short amount of time, but none of the conversations got boring or awkward. After all, they were going to be spending eight hours a day together. Myra's ten hour shift started two hours before Luca's, which she was grateful for. She hated mornings and liked being alone for the start of her day. Luca seemed to come in bleary eyed at the beginning of his shift as well, but he was much better at pretending to be excited about the day than Myra. Despite their differences she enjoyed his company, he seemed kind and good-natured so far and put up with her sour moods in the mornings. Most importantly, he made the job go by much faster. Myra often thought with great disdain that one day in the near future Luca would be sick and miss a day, or get promoted and leave her there to do the job alone. A prospect she did not look forward to.

"I won't get promoted before you," Luca assured her, "You're much faster and more organized than I am. They'll move you up in no time. In a few years you could even be working on the main floors with General Hux."

"Nah, I'm too short for that much power," Myra replied light-heartedly.

"What?" Luca looked genuinely confused. He had completely missed her sad attempt at a joke.

"Have you ever noticed how tall everyone with a high rank is? Akio is sort of between a medium and tall height but he's still significantly taller than me, and he only runs archives. And then you go up the ranks and the officers just get taller and taller. I hear Phasma was six feet tall when she was still running things. And then you have General Hux and Supreme Leader Ren, who both have to be at least six feet tall too. And I hear before Snoke died he was pushing seven feet tall. I'm just a measly five foot two. I'd never be tall enough to work next to the General."

Luca stared at her like she was out of her mind. "I'm sure that's just a coincidence. I doubt they're prejudiced against short people."

Myra got serious for a moment. "Why not? They're prejudiced against non-humans."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Asked Luca, somewhat shocked at Myra's sudden change of tone.

"Have you ever noticed that as massive as the First Order is there has never been a single person fighting for them that isn't human?"

"I guess I haven't really paid that much attention."

"It's not like that matters anyway, the issue at hand is that I'm short." Myra said with a much lighter tone, relieving Luca of a heavy topic. He did not seem to care for talking about serious subjects. Luca let the conversation die there, not caring to find out where it would have gone next.

Myra's mind did not hesitate to wander the second the conversation was finished. She had not thought of Kylo Ren since the day she had first met him, but using his height to make her case stirred up the memory of that day with a vengeance. She could still feel the same embarrassment she felt in that moment, and her cheeks turned pink and warmed her face in the most unpleasant sort of way. For a brief moment she even felt a pang of fear and anxiety that she might run into him again; before relaxing herself and telling herself that in the whole month she had been there it had not happened since, and if it were going to it would have by now.

That evening on her way back to her room at the end of her shift, Myra realized for the first time how the universe truly loved to torment her.


	6. Chapter 6

Myra was especially tired at the end of her shift. On the walk back to her room she could feel her eyelids become heavy, and she struggled to keep them open, especially when she waited for the elevator that would take her up to the floor that held her room. When the elevator door opened her feet seemed to hold her in place, as if they were made of lead rather than flesh and bone.

Myra was so tired, she almost did not notice the man standing in the elevator in front of her, waiting patiently for her to move. Had anyone else blocked his way to anything he would have been at the very least annoyed, and possibly even angry; depending on the person. However, the second he saw this girl he froze, hoping she would never notice the door had opened as he stared at her bleary, but content face. He noticed how calm she looked compared to the last time he saw her. Here she was much more like she was in his dream, although he also noticed his dream was not entirely correct about her either. He noticed a spattering of freckles that stretched across her face, which had not been there in his dream. They reached from her cheek, all the way across her nose to the other cheek. They were heavy in the center of her face, and there were just a few odd ones on the rest of her face. One on her chin, a few on her forehead. They made her seem younger and more endearing. Kylo Ren also noticed how much shorter she was in real life. In his dream she reached his shoulders, in real life she barely made it to his chest.

Kylo Ren was relieved she was looking down, and unable to see the look of surprise on his own face as he stared at her, it was one of the many times he missed having his mask. He had not thought of her in weeks, and had almost forgotten she existed. The dream he had of her had been the first and the last, but now that he had seen her again his interest had been sparked tenfold. So it came as a great disappointment to him when she looked at him and her face turned from one of contentment to one of horror.

"Sorry," Myra said, with a thick and heavy voice, as she began to look up. Instantly upon seeing the face of the man in front of her, Myra became awake, alert, and frightened. She quickly stepped to the side, and looked back down at the ground in embarrassment and shame.

Kylo Ren stepped out of the elevator and faced the girl before him.

As the two stood in the hallway Kylo Ren knew he was far too close to the girl for her to be comfortable. After all, he did not want her to be so frightened, but he could not seem to bring himself to step away from her. He did not know why he was so intrigued by her. He knew she was beautiful, but there was no romantic interest present. She did not hold a single trace of the force, so he could not even see her as a potential apprentice or ally. He had only seen her one time before, and she made one small, relatable remark; which he was never meant to hear. Kylo Ren knew that should not have been enough for him to become so enraptured, but for some reason, it seemed that it was indeed enough for now.

Likewise, Myra could not understand why she was so afraid of this man; why she wanted to squirm at his closeness. He had a monstrous reputation, but she knew how rumors spread; each tale more exaggerated than the last. She knew she could only ever truly trust what she could see with her own eyes, and what she had seen so far was a seemingly normal man. There had been one strange, compromising moment in which she caught him; but even then he did not seem evil or cruel, just weird. The last time she had interacted with him he even seemed somewhat kind, albeit awkward, when he gave her the directions back to her room and with his discretion about her own compromising affairs. At least Myra assumed she had his discretion, considering no gossip about her sobbing in the hallway had trickled down to her peers.

"I'm looking for Akio." Kylo Ren stated, after a long moment of terse, uncomfortable silence. He knew, of course, exactly where the archives supervisor was, but he needed an excuse to stay a moment longer and talk to this girl. He needed a reason to find out why he felt such a pull to her, not as force user, but as an ordinary man.

"He's in room 216-B. It's where we update all the old records." Myra's voice was still quiet and small.

"Show me where that is." Kylo Ren had a gentle, but commanding tone. He was trying to be as friendly as he could, but he was a man of power by nature and any attempt at kindness always came out awkward and sometimes forced.

Myra recognized that despite his attempt at being friendly it was still a command given by a superior, and regardless of much she wanted to say no she did not have a choice in the matter.

"It's this way." She nodded her head in the direction they would be going, signaling that it was the direction she was already facing.

Myra paused for a moment, as she looked directly at him. She looked up at his face clearly for the first time, all the other times she had been in his presence she refused to look directly at him for more than a brief second. She was startled to realize that he was rather handsome, but in an unconventional way. He had warm and soft brown eyes, which did an excellent job conveying his serious demeanor, and full light pink lips. His face was long and somewhat sharp, and his nose was slightly larger than average and bent slightly in the middle; but it did not take away from the immediate attraction he evoked, neither did the scar that seemed to split his face in two. Myra noticed briefly that he seemed to be the opposite of Luca in every way, with his staggering height, pale skin, long black hair, and the occasional freckle. The only similarity between the two was how incredibly soft his hair looked, and how she immediately wanted to touch it; exactly like she did with Luca.

As she stood there drinking in Kylo Ren's appearance, he felt self-conscious; thinking perhaps he should not have demanded he have her presence any longer than she wanted to be present. He let her stare anyway, not daring to move, in fear of doing something she might not like.

Myra realized how long she had just been gawking at him, and felt her cheeks warm with embarrassment and she brusquely began to walk past him. He did not hesitate to follow, walking slightly behind her with the hope that she would not turn around and notice how awkward he was beside her.

Myra wondered whether or not he really needed someone to show him to the room the archives team operated out of. She had assumed that he knew the ship like the back of his hand; if he knew where the rooms of the lowest level officers were he would have known where every room on the ship was. But why pretend he did not know?

Myra was dwelling on this curiosity far more than she realized, and seemed to almost project her thoughts on Kylo Ren. He heard her loud and clear, and she was right. He did know the ship like the back of his hand, he spent more than ten years living on it; and in that time it had not changed much, save for the annoying twat he was forced by Snoke to work with.

Kylo Ren decided to throw her off her track, if she was to discover that he had lied, or why, he did not want to be around for it. He decided to ask the only question he had wanted an answer to for the past month.

"What's your name?"

Myra was surprised enough that he broke the silence, let alone how he did it, that she froze in place and he almost walked right into her, not expecting her to stop. When Myra turned around to look at him he knew he was closer than he should have been, again. Fortunately for both of them it was slightly less uncomfortable than it was outside of the elevator. Myra was still hyper aware of the closeness, but did not feel the need to be so afraid in this instance. She was not sure why that had changed. Perhaps wanting to know her name made him seem more casual, more human? Or the minute of walking was enough to calm her down a bit and make her used to his presence? Or it was just the carnal, human instinct of wanting to be close to an attractive man? Or it was a little bit of everything. Myra honestly was not sure why she was less bothered by him now, but she was pleased that the fear had momentarily subsided. She was finally able to speak to him without sounding cowardly.

"It's Myra Henle." Her voice sounded confident to Kylo Ren for the first time since he had met her. And he was relieved to know that she had finally eased up at least a little bit. He was even more relieved at finally knowing the name of his mystery girl.

"It's not a recognizable family name. How did you make it onto the Finalizer?" Myra tried, with some difficulty, not to be offended by his question. She knew it was rare for someone who did not come from a notable family to make it onto a notable ship, but she felt it should be obvious that if she could manage it meant she was a fucking genius. If anyone else had asked her she would have said as much; but Myra knew, despite his attempt at a casual conversation, she had to watch herself very closely. She could not make any mistakes with how she moved or what she said, she had already made far too many. Despite her jokes with Luca about never being able to make it to the top, that was indeed her ultimate goal. She could not hinder her chanced at success from the very beginning by saying the wrong thing to the very man whose caliber she was trying to meet.

"I did well in the academy I went to." Myra said as she slowly turned around and continued walking in the direction of their destination, much slower than before. Now she could not let the conversation end too soon, now she felt the need to prove to him that she deserved to be on the Finalizer. To prove that she was better than all of those that were just given their stations on the ship through family connections.

"I see." Kylo Ren felt foolish, that should have been obvious to him. "If you're that smart you should be in a higher position than you are." Myra was not sure if he knew exactly what she did, but even if he did not, the pins on her uniform made it clear that she held a very low rank. She was barely above a storm trooper in the sanitation unit.

"We all have to start somewhere." Myra almost sounded defeated, and offended again at how he seemed to question her intelligence. Kylo Ren felt foolish again for sounding as judgmental as he did. It was no wonder to him now, that this girl seemed to hate being around him. He did not know why he said things that came across as rude as they did. In truth, he had no doubt she was intelligent if she made it onto this ship.

In an attempt to save himself from leaving a horrible impression on her he tried to be encouraging. "But you don't have to stay down here. Apply for the next position that opens. It would be better in your hands than an aristocrat's." Kylo Ren noticed, regretfully, that it sounded more like an order than encouragement. Unbeknownst to him, Myra did not take it as an order or encouragement, she took it as a challenge.

"That is my intention." Myra stated, with a tone that was almost cold compared to every other time Kylo Ren had heard her speak. He could not be upset with it or blame her though, after all, he was coming across as an ass to her.

It was rare that Kylo Ren wished he had spent more time around his peers while he was at his uncle's academy; but this was one of those times. Since he left he had almost no time to socialize with anyone, Snoke seemed to encourage Kylo Ren to keep to himself and let the feelings of loneliness fester and darken the young boy's heart. Kylo Ren was sure if he had been more social the outcome would have been the same, but at least now he would know how to interact with this girl without making her hate him more.

At least when it came to Rey they were on equal ground with not knowing how to interact with people, and having spent most of their youth alone. Now that Kylo Ren was trying to talk to someone who had most likely grown up under normal circumstances, someone he had absolutely nothing in common with, he was far more aware of how miserably he was failing than he would have liked to be.

It went without saying that both Myra and Kylo Ren were relieved when they had finally reached their destination. As they stood outside the door they could hear the muffled voices of Akio and Luca, though they could not discern what was being said through the sealed door. Myra turned to face Kylo Ren one last time, and looked up at his face, hoping that as handsome as it was, she would never see it again.

As Kylo Ren looked down at her he noticed how hard her expression was as she looked at him. He did not need any of the force senses he was born with to feel her disdain for him, and know she did not want to see him again.

"This is it." Myra's voice was soft, but final. She was ready to leave.

He looked at her with a feeling of hopelessness and regret. He still did not know what he was looking for in her, but he knew now that he would never find it.

"Thank you." He replied with a voice that was equally soft and far less final. He was not ready to be without her presence yet. Even if he made things worse with every passing second.

Much to her discomfort, Myra could not help but feel a slight fluttering in the pit of her stomach at the look he gave her. Many boys looked at her like they liked what they saw, she was very used to being looked at like a piece of meat; but this man looked at her like he was going into battle without her. Like he needed something only she could provide, beyond any sort of physical desire. The only reaction she could possibly have in such a moment was to be confused, it could not be possible for him to actually like her based on the short, inexplicably awkward and unpleasant experiences they had together so far. Myra was so confused and shocked that she thought for a brief moment that she had to rethink her feelings about him.

"You're welcome, Supreme Leader Ren." Myra said, much more kindly, as she gave a slight incline of her head; in some feeble attempt to show respect to her superior.

The corners of his lips turned up into a faint smile, as he nodded in response to her, touched the panel next to the door next to them, and stepped inside the instant it opened.

Myra immediately took the opportunity to finally leave. As much as she tried to ignore him on the walk back up to her room, she couldn't help but notice the knots that formed in her stomach every time she thought about the smile he gave her. It was barely even there, but it was enough for her to notice how adorable and charming it made him look. The most perplexing part was how sincere it seemed, like he was genuinely happy to be around her. Myra wondered how that could be possible, and immediately decided that it could not. She had to be imagining it, the _Supreme Leader of the First Order_ could not actually like her; and she could not actually like him.

Myra felt fortunate that the rest of her journey to her room had gone uninterrupted when she finally arrived at her door. Once she was inside she happily changed into her sleeping clothes and dove into her bed. As tired as Myra was, she knew she would not be able to sleep that night. Even though she knew she would not sleep, she could not bring herself to go to the cafeteria to eat dinner either. Myra knew all she would do for the rest of the night was lay in bed and think about how her Supreme Leader had looked at her, like she was some giddy 13 year old girl, even though she did not have a viable reason to believe that he liked her or that she liked him.

Contrary to Myra, at the end of Kylo Ren's day he fell asleep immediately. Finally feeling a sense of ease and contentment that he had managed to leave things with Myra on a somewhat positive note.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Myra was so hungry her stomach hurt from not eating the night before, and she found herself feeling much less giddy. The novelty of Kylo Ren's smile and handsome face had worn off just as quickly as it had appeared, and Myra decided with a sense of finality that she did not, under any circumstances, like Kylo Ren. She would, however, accept his challenge of moving up through the ranks as quickly as possible. On her way to the cafeteria Myra decided that she would give herself three months working in the archiving unit, just enough to gain solid experience, then she would apply for the first position that opened above her current station.

Once Myra had arrived at the cafeteria she scanned the crowd for Luca. Even though he had the later shift he was always up bright and early. Most mornings he decided to meet Myra for breakfast. At first they had only started eating together so they would not be sitting alone, they did not have the opportunity to meet many people while working in archives. They were more or less confined to the one room for their entire shift, and they worked in a very small team. They had Akio, who made it clear that he did not form friendships with his employee's on their first day on the job. There were two other women that worked in the same room, whom Luca did attempt to talk to once; but they made their disinterest clear and Luca did not even have the opportunity to learn their names. Myra decided that if a handsome young man like Luca could not successfully talk to those women, neither could she; so Myra made no attempt.

Whether the friendship between Myra and Luca was purely the result of Stockholm syndrome they did not know, but both of them were happy to at least have one friend.

Myra stood in the entrance of the cafeteria for at least a minute before she finally saw him. After she knew where he was she made her way to the line for food, hoping there would be something different today. Almost every morning everyone had some form of eggs and sausage for breakfast, with some form of potatoes, and diced fruit. Overall it wasn't horrible, mostly just bland, and it was a healthy breakfast; which was the goal of the First Order. Provide the nutrients needed to create strong and focused soldiers. They did not care if everyone was sick of eating the same flavors every day, and the breakfast served was the cheapest and most efficient way to provide that nutrition. Much to Myra's disappointment that was still the case today.

After her breakfast was placed on her tray, Myra made her way over to where Luca sat.

"Good morning," Luca said, smiling up at her. He always smiled when he saw her, and it was slowly beginning to make Myra confident that he was feeling a little more than friendship for the two of them.

"Hey." Myra sounded every bit as tired as she felt. She had been up all night, and while she could not help it at the time, she sincerely regretted it the second she woke up.

"You excited for another day of doing the same boring shit for ten hours straight?" Luca asked teasingly.

"Please don't make me think about that." Myra half whined. The job itself was not horrible, but she was definitely ready for a change of pace. She hoped the next job she might get would have a little variation in her daily routine.

"What? You mean you don't absolutely love typing things you don't care about on a record for hours on end?" Luca's voice was heavy with sarcasm. A trait Myra was very fond of. Most of the boys she knew took any sarcasm she doled out very seriously and ended up with hurt feelings; but Luca always knew exactly what she meant, and she always knew what he meant.

"Oh yeah, it really tickles my fancy. It tickles my fancy so much, that as soon as I have enough viable experience under my belt I'm going to apply for a new job."

"What kind of job?" Luca's tone changed from sarcastic to one of genuine interest.

"Literally anything other than this."

"But then you might not see me anymore." Luca tried to sound jocular, but Myra noticed the hint of underlying concern.

"Nah, we'll still have some meals together. We could hang out after our shifts end too."

"Yeah, assuming they aren't completely opposite shifts from each other."

"If that happens just apply for a job that gives you the same shift as me."

"Applying isn't a guarantee I'll get it, but yeah. I guess we should both be aiming higher than archives. It's gonna get boring without you down there anyway."

"Mhmm." Myra mumbled as she chewed her egg, thinking at the very least the cooks could have put salt and pepper in them.

"You should come by my room after our shifts end tonight, that way I can get in as much time with you as possible before you leave me." Luca used a mock hurt tone.

Myra scoffed at him, "I think you'd be fine without me."

"You should come by anyway," Luca stated with a kind and even tone.

"Yeah, I think I can manage that."

The pair continued to eat their breakfast in a comfortable silence, not taking much longer. Myra stood up before Luca, realizing she only had a few minutes before her shift started.

"Shit, I've gotta go. I'm gonna be late." Myra began to pick up her tray, but Luca grabbed her hand to stop her.

"Leave it, I'll clean up the table. Just get outta here on time."

"Thanks Luca," Myra smiled down at him, and left before she could see him smile back. Luca stared after her as she went, wondering if she would actually show up at the end of his shift. He knew she was dependable, but he had invited her over many times before and she always found an excuse to say no; usually that she was too tired or needed to call her parents. Like always, he decided he should clean his room and at least try to be prepared for if she did finally show up. Luca cleared the table quickly, and made his way back to his room. He only had an hour before his own shift started to make sure everything would be ready for her.


	8. Chapter 8

Myra raced down the hallway, receiving quite a few stares on the way to the elevator; but she only had two minutes, and the elevator would take up half of that at a minimum. Once Myra was actually in the elevator she tried to fix her hair, the tight bun she had put it in had begun to come loose. She tried to pull it back and twist up tightly in the standard fashion for first order women, but without her bathroom mirror she did not know whether or not she had been successful in that endeavor.

As soon the elevator doors opened on her floor, Myra was out of the elevator and walking with a quick pace toward the room she should already have been in minutes ago. Normally Myra showed up to her shift early, but she had too difficult a time getting out of bed in the morning to actually get out her door on time.

As she finally reached the door she needed, she hit her hand on the panel, much harder than necessary, and brusquely stepped into the room; almost crashing into her supervisor.

"You're late," Akio looked down at her with a very stern and annoyed expression on his face. "It better not happen again."

"It won't sir."

Akio was strict and proper, he had the exact manners an officer of the First Order was expected to have, and he was only a low ranking officer. Myra couldn't imagine how awful it would have to be to work for a higher ranking officer, which was the one setback in her plan to rise through the First Order ranks. The better she did, the more intolerable the people she would have to work for would become. The only way to avoid it would be to make it to the very top, with General Hux and Supreme Leader Ren; but as smart as Myra was, she doubted she could make it that far. All the intelligence in the world could not give her a good family name, the desire to destroy everything in her path, and a reason to actually care about the First Order's cause.

"While you're already running about, I have urgent information for you to deliver," Akio said, handing Myra a small data chip.

"What's this?" Myra questioned, taking the chip from him.

"That's for me to know, and you to not worry about."

Myra gave him an obviously annoyed look, "You could have just said 'it's classified.'"

"And you could refrain from talking back to your superiors."

Myra and Akio's conversations often went like this, he always barked an order that she questioned, he told her not to be disrespectful and threatened disciplinary action, and she never stopped questioning him and he never punished her.

"Where am I taking it?"

"You are to take it directly to Supreme Leader Ren."

Myra realized she should have known it was for him the second Akio handed it to her, why else would he be down this far on the ship, looking for Akio, unless he needed to make a request for classified information. Myra wondered just how classified it was, for Kylo Ren to make the request in person, and for Akio to not tell her what it is.

"If this is such top secret information for the Supreme Leader himself, shouldn't you be the one taking it instead of me?" Myra did not want her neck to be on the line for seeing something she was not supposed to see.

"It would be normal practice for me to bring classified information myself, but the Supreme Leader requested I send someone inconspicuous when the information was ready. I believe if I went it would tip off too many people that he's looking into something big. And you have absolutely no social interaction with anyone other than Luca, so I doubt anyone would recognize you upstairs."

Myra did not let the insult he threw at her about her social life go unnoticed, but decided that was a topic for a different conversation.

"Just how big is this 'something' that he's looking into?"

"Big enough to put your life in danger if you knew anything about it, so I suggest you stop asking questions, take that data straight to him, and come straight back without stopping to talk to anyone on the way."

"Yes sir. Where will I find him?"

"He said he would be waiting for it in his private chamber, which is room 617-K. I know it's on the top floor of the ship, but I've never been on the private floor of high ranking officers so you'll have to look around. Be quick about it."

"What should I say if someone stops me and asks questions?"

"Make something up that won't get you killed."

"Well that's helpful." Myra glared at Akio, wishing he cared more about her safety; but doubting he cared about anything other than his own skin. That was probably the real reason he wasn't going himself.

On that note Myra just turned around and left. She walked slowly back to the elevator, it was rare to see anybody in that hallway and she knew if she did they would take no notice of her. No one took any notice of anyone on this low of a floor. Her concern was being noticeably out of place once she reached the top.

While in the elevator Myra pondered what she would say in the event that she did get caught. She did not have the equipment to pass as part of the sanitation unit, and her uniform gave away her low rank. Saying she had just gotten lost absolutely would not work. She thought briefly that she could try saying she was a concubine, that was more believable than the other two options, but that could get her into serious trouble with the Supreme Leader and whoever she ran into. Even if it was more believable, it was not much more believable. Kylo Ren was such an awkward shut in that he probably never had women up in his room. Myra supposed she could just say she was doing a routine transmission check, to make sure all the lower level transmissions were reaching the upper levels, but in the event that something like that were to happen she was sure everyone would be notified.

Myra never had time to land on a solution, before the doors in front of her slid open. Her time was up, she had to walk out into the hallway and hope there was no one there to see her. Myra wondered what information could be so important, that merely holding it in her hand without even knowing what it was could cost her life. She then wondered if the threat of death was coming from Kylo Ren, or whoever he was trying to keep the information from.

Myra stood in the middle of the thankfully empty hallway, wondering which direction she should go. She could hear faint voices to the left, so she decided to go right. She decided that right was the right direction, because the numbers started to grow from 100 on. Unfortunately, is seemed like she still had quite a walk before reaching 617. The hallway stretched on forever, and there were enough lefts and rights to ensure that she would have a difficult time getting back to the elevator. After enough turns, backtracking, and cursing her horrible sense of direction, Myra finally found herself outside of Kylo Ren's room.

She had wanted to get there as quickly as possible to get the data chip out of her hands, but now that she was there she was afraid to make her presence known. She suddenly remembered whose room she was standing outside of, and how their last encounter had gone. From beginning to end it was unpleasant and she was not looking forward to experiencing that again; but she remembered the sooner she got it over with the sooner she could leave. Myra knocked softly on the door in front of her. She stood there for about a minute, hearing nothing on the other end.

Just as Myra lifted her hand to knock again the door swooshed open, revealing a tired Kylo Ren. He looked as if she had woken him up. His sleepy, soft brown eyes gazing down at her as he leaned on the door-frame.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but Akio sent me with this." Myra held out her hand, with the data chip laying in the middle of her palm.

Kylo Ren reached out to grab it from her, slowly and gently. When he touched her hand he was not at all surprised at how soft it was, but very surprised at how cold it was. Myra was not surprised by how rough or warm his hands were. His skin felt exactly how she would have expected it would feel, had she ever thought about it.

As soon as he removed the data chip from Myra's hand she turned to leave.

"Wait."

Myra looked back at Kylo Ren with a confused and nervous expression on her face.

"Is something wrong?"

"I need to make sure this has everything I need on it before I send you back." Kylo Ren stated as he turned back into his room to check the data he was actually given.

"Oh, okay." Myra decided that made sense. She just hoped she wouldn't have to wait too long to find out.

"Don't just stand in the hallway, this might take a few minutes."

Myra hesitated before cautiously stepping into his room, uncomfortable with the idea of being in his own personal space with him. She stopped once she was just barely inside enough for the door to close behind her. As Myra glanced around the room she was surprised at how normal it was. It was a lot roomier than her own room, but still not as grand as she would have expected for the leader of the entire First Order. There was a decent sized bed, which Myra suspected was a queen, pushed back against the center of the wall, with a small couch at the end of it, a nightstand to the right, and a full bookshelf to the left. There was a massive window, which showed the vast expanse of space on the left wall, with black out curtains hanging on the edges. Myra was instantly jealous of the room. It was the first one she had been in that had a window, and she would have loved being able to fall asleep looking at the stars. On the right wall were two doors, side by side, which Myra assumed were a closet and bathroom. In the corner directly next to her sat a desk with a chair, which Kylo Ren sat comfortably in while he waited for his monitor to boot up so he could test the chip.

As Myra looked at Kylo Ren she noticed that for the first time he did not seem to be floundering about talking to her. He seemed so much more relaxed. Myra wondered if it was because he was too tired to think about what he was doing, or if being in his own space just made that much of a difference for him. She was positive, now, that she had woken him up. He was barefoot, and wore loose dark gray cotton pajama pants and a black tank top; which showed off his muscular build quite nicely. His eyes still looked tired and the lighting was dimmed, rather than at full brightness; which Myra assumed was because he did not have enough time to let his eyes adjust before opening his door for her. Or maybe he just preferred to sit in the dark? Myra was curious, but did not care enough to ask. She also noticed, with great admiration how tousled and fluffy his hair looked after having just rolled out of bed. The sight of him in the morning made her feel those annoying knots in her stomach again, which she readily ignored.

Kylo Ren's monitor was finally ready and he placed the chip into a port in the side. He began to look through everything and Myra figured she only had another minute before she could leave.

Kylo was looking very avidly at his screen, but suddenly jerked his head sharply to the right, in Myra's direction. Myra thought it was odd that he did that, but even odder that he did not seem to be looking at her, but rather through her. His jaw set and his relaxed demeanor was gone.

Kylo Ren did not dare say anything to Rey in front of Myra, but he could not help but become enraged at the sight of her. The way she looked at him with sad, pleading eyes, and used his inability to talk in front of Myra as an opportunity to attempt to persuade him, once again, to turn from the dark and join the resistance. For the first time he was unable to tell her that the light was not as great as she believed. He did not have the opportunity to attempt to sway her in return, which only made him more frustrated.

He was drawn away from Rey and their connection by Myra, who had looked behind her at the wall and back at Kylo Ren with a look of absolute terror on her face.

"Should I go?" Her voice was just as small and quiet as the first time he had met her. She was not force sensitive, but even she could feel the darkness and anger emanating from him.

"No, we're not done yet."

Kylo Ren looked at the monitor, expression still hard and angry. Myra looked down at the ground in front of her. The two sat in a tense silence for several more minutes as Kylo Ren sifted through the information the girl brought him. Finally deciding he was satisfied and could not stand her frightened presence for a moment longer, he stood up from his desk and looked over at Myra; who still did not look up at him.

"Go, I have what I need." Kylo Ren did not mean to sound as harsh as he did, but he doubted it would have mattered if his tone sounded any different.

Myra did not hesitate to leave, she practically bolted out the door. The second she was gone Kylo felt the rage of all the progress he had made with her the night before having slipped away. In one swift motion he pushed the monitor completely off his desk. It flew across the room and practically shattered against the wall on the other side of the room. Kylo Ren stood there, chest heaving with his anger and disappointment at how quickly he ruined everything. Even though he still did not know what that everything was.


	9. Chapter 9

By the time Myra arrived at the safety of her normal work space she was shaking like an autumn leaf in the wind. She sat on a small metal stool on the inside of the door, too shaken to attempt to actually finish her work for the day. It took her several minutes of Akio and Luca waving their hands in front of her and talking at her in hushed tones before she actually noticed they were there.

"Myra…Myra, what's wrong? What happened?" Luca questioned gently, placing a hand gracefully on her shoulder. Myra knew if she tried to speak she would not be able to, she would only embarrass herself with some pathetic squeaking sound; so she said nothing. She merely looked at Luca's kind eyes and took comfort in the concern she found in them.

When Akio realized Myra was not going to even respond to Luca, he took his opportunity to speak.

"Sorry Myra, I didn't mean to scare you so much. Your life was never actually in danger, that information wasn't actually top secret. The only reason I actually even sent you was because the Supreme Leader asked for you by name. You were safer on that walk than anyone else down here would have been if I hadn't sent you."

Myra's head turned from Luca's face to Akio's so fast the two men barely saw it move.

"He asked for me?" Myra asked, the shock evident in her tone.

"Yes."

"Why would he do that?" Myra's shock was quickly turning to anger and both of the men in front of her knew it. And neither of them wanted to witness what could happen next. Neither of them had seen Myra when she was angry before. Akio was nervous that she would be unproductive or ruin a filing system, and Luca just could not stand to see her unhappy.

"I don't know, but it clearly didn't go well. You should go back to your room and just relax for the day. I know meeting him for the first time couldn't have been a pleasant ordeal, but try to come back a little more productive next time."

Myra had a look of stony resolve on her face as she replied, "I am never going near that man again. I don't care if he asks for me by name. Send someone else." Immediately, Myra stood up and walked out the door to her left; and walked back to her room as brusquely as she could.

Luca turned to Akio, reluctant at the idea of ever having to face the Supreme Leader; but desperate to make sure Myra would not have to.

"Next time the Supreme Leader needs something from us I can take it to him."

"And you will, unless the Supreme Leader asks for her. If he asks for her again, she will take it." Akio turned away from Luca with a sense of finality, Myra was right in her assumption after all; he cared far more about saving his own skin than her safety.

Even from the safety of her room Myra knew if Kylo Ren ever asked for her again she would have no choice but to go to him, but much to her relief he never did. Even as Kylo Ren stood up in his own room, staring at the obliterated glass, metal, and wires that seemed to glare and him from the floor, judging his inability to control his feelings when Rey turned up; especially in the presence of others, he knew he could not bring himself to ask for her again. He could not bear to see her so terrified of him again. All three times he had been in her presence she had given him that look, which so clearly explained that she believed him to be every bit of the monster the rumors said he was.

He did not know why it bothered him to see Myra look at him that way, he had tried relentlessly to convince Rey to join him and he even admitted to her face that he was a monster. Myra did not even have the promise of power, or the familiarity, or the mutual loneliness that Kylo Ren found in Rey; yet he yearned to see her just as devoted to him as he had wanted Rey to be. He yearned to see Myra the way she was in him dream. To not only see her comfortable in his presence, but even enjoying it.

Kylo Ren knew after the events that had transpired in the morning, no matter how hard he tried and how much he wished for it, she would never enjoy his company.


	10. Chapter 10

Myra had spent the whole day in her room, changing positions frequently, but never leaving. She shifted from her bed, to leaning on her bookshelf, to sitting on her desk, to staring at her reflection in the small bathroom mirror, to taking a cramped shower, to fidgeting with the books and art supplies on her bookshelf, back to laying on the bed and staring at the ceiling; all the while never ceasing to remember the look the Supreme Leader had given her in his room. Myra could not understand, no matter how hard she tried, what could have brought on that look. The obvious conclusion was that she had done _something_ , but what? He had seemed so casual, he was content in his tired state; in the moments when she had first entered his room he even seemed like someone she could have admired.

However, any thoughts of admiration were decimated the second he looked at her with murder in his eyes.

Myra could not understand, no matter how hard she thought about it, what she could possibly done to cause such a look of pure rage. Of course, at the end of the day Myra knew the Supreme Leader did not need a reason to be angry. He could just be angry if that was what he desired, and she would pay whatever price he wanted her to pay for it.

The only thing more puzzling to Myra than his anger was the way he had seemed to look through her. His gaze was so focused in her direction, she was sure she was the cause, but he had not made eye contact with her. He barely even seemed to recognize her presence until she spoke; which Myra knew, in hindsight, she should not have done. Upon a second thought Myra realized through the entire interaction she had been far more casual with the Supreme Leader than she should have been. Perhaps he had woken up enough to realize it and that was the cause of his anger?

Myra rapidly became annoyed with herself for being so stuck on the incident. All she wanted was to stop thinking about him. There was no reason she should think about the Supreme Leader she saw in awkward and upsetting moments once every blue moon.

In a poor attempt to take her mind off of him she pulled her art supplies off of their shelf and began to draw with oil pastels. She decided to draw Luca; believing if she was going to think about a boy, it might as well be a boy she liked. She focused first on his sparkling hazel eyes; wishing she had canvas and paint instead, so she could better capture their likeness.

It was not until several hours had passed that Myra stopped her mental diversion long enough to check the time. She barely realized that Luca's shift had ended over an hour ago, and remembered the plan they had made for her to meet him in his room earlier that day. She knew Luca would not care as long as she just showed up, nevertheless she felt guilty for making him wait. If he were meeting her, he would have been on time.

Myra did not bother to clean the drawing materials off her bed, or wash the stains from the pastels off her fingers, or change from her casual night clothes back into a uniform, or even put her hair in a standard bun.

She knew any superiors that she could run into could discipline her for appearing so unseemly and breaking the First Order dress code, but she knew that running into someone on that floor, at that time, was unlikely. The next shift change was at least eight hours away, so there should be very few people in the halls, if there were any.

The only thing Myra did before she walked out her bedroom door, was slip on a black pair of socks and her boots from her uniform. She did not need to look in a mirror to know she looked ridiculous, with tall, black boots and short, olive sleep shorts and a tight, gray tank top; and Myra thought with great sincerity that Luca would not notice.

She walked out into the hallway and hastily walked through several halls to find Luca's room. She was right in her belief that she would not run into anyone of importance on her way to his room. She was wrong in her belief that Luca would not notice her appearance.

Immediately after she knocked on his door he opened it, and immediately upon seeing Myra he began to gawk at her.

"You came to my room dressed like that?" Luca asked incredulously as he stepped aside to let her in his room.

"I don't need to get dressed for you." Myra huffed defensively.

"No, but you do need to get dressed for any superior officers you might run into."

Myra glared at him for being right. Even though Luca scolded Myra he was rather pleased with her choice of attire. As she kicked off her boots and looked around his room, he admired the curves from her ankles up her calves and the thickness of her thighs; all the way up to her plump, round ass. Luca knew she was the most attractive woman on the ship the second he saw her, but he had never expected her to casually show so much skin in his bedroom. When he first met her she appeared to be all business.

As Luca admired Myra, Myra admired his room. He had brought quite a bit more with him from home than she had. His bookshelf was filled with books and small nick knacks, a tapestry of a forest hung from his wall, and his desk was littered with small models of First Order and former Empire ships.

As interesting as all of Luca's personal belongings were, his room was small and cramped just like Myra's; she quickly ran out of things to observe and turned face Luca once more.

Myra was surprised to find him staring at her as intently as he had been. Myra knew she liked him, and suspected he liked her from early on in their friendship. Seeing the way he looked at her now, her suspicion was confirmed. She sat down on his bed, relishing the look of pure adoration in his beautiful hazel eyes as he continued to stand several feet away from her. Myra knew if she tried to give a flirtatious look it would come across as awkward and forced, so she just fiddled with her fingers for a moment.

Both seemed to be waiting forever for the other to initiate something, anything. The silence in the room became thick and heavy, to the point where Myra knew if she did not say something it would suffocate her.

"Come here." She commanded as she looked back up at Luca and watched him step toward her, almost too eager to obey her.

Once he was only inches away from her, she placed her hands gently on his hips and looked up, once more, at his mesmerizing eyes. It did not take long for Luca to become comfortable and take control of the situation. Without any hesitation he gently placed his hand on the bottom of her chin and tilted her head up more toward his. He only took a brief moment to admire her features before his lips came crashing down on hers. Myra knew that was what he would do, it was even what she wanted; but she still froze when it came to the final moment that her desire had become reality. Luca noticed her hesitation and pulled away briefly. The space did not last long as he placed both of his hands on the sides of her cheeks and tried again. This time Myra was sure she was ready, she kissed back with reckless abandon. She even went as far as spreading her legs open and pulling Luca further into her by the belt of his uniform. It was only moments before he had begun to lean into her, gently pushing her back down onto the bed. After her back landed on the mattress Luca pulled away from her lips to lick, in one firm stroke, from her clavicle to the top of her neck. Myra let a light and gentle moan fall from her lips at the feeling of his tongue on her skin. Immediately upon such a sound escaping her, Luca was pressed back into her; his erection pressed firmly between her legs. Myra hooked her legs behind his and grabbed fistfuls of his luscious blond hair, and pulled him down to her to feel his rough lips on her soft ones once more; her fervor alerting him of her own arousal.

By the end of it Myra decided Luca was a good lover, much better than any previous boyfriends. She was hopeful that this would not be the last night they would spend together.

"Thank god that finally happened." Luca pulled Myra from her thoughts.

"How long have you been waiting for it?"

"Not too long, a month maybe."

"Wow, that's a long time." Myra said sarcastically; in truth, she had expected it to be longer.

"What about you?" Curiosity laced Luca's voice.

"A month maybe." Myra mocked Luca, not wanting him to know that she had thought about being intimate with him from the first day she met him.

Myra stood and stretched before she put her few pieces of clothing on.

"Stay a little longer." Luca pleaded, giving her puppy dog eyes. They were cute, but not particularly convincing.

"Can't. I need to go to sleep, my shift is only a few hours away."

"Sleep here."

"No, we can't risk someone seeing me leave in the morning." Myra firmly told Luca, watching him pout; deciding a swift kiss on the cheek would be a sufficient form of retribution before leaving.

As Myra stepped out into the hallway she noticed it was eerily quiet on the ship. As she walked back to her room she had expected she would not run into a single person, but, as always, the universe existed to prove her wrong.


	11. Chapter 11

**A poll about this story has been added to my profile**

* * *

Myra was seething as she approached the figure standing in front of her door; not even because she knew she had been caught sleeping with a co-worker, but because _he_ had the audacity to wait for her outside of her room for any reason.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Myra's interrogation began through clenched teeth and a tight jaw.

"I came to make amends, but now that I can see you spend your nights whoring about on this ship I think I'll discharge you instead." Adam had a hint of a stupid smirk on his stupid face, as he looked at Myra with extreme satisfaction in his dull eyes; believing that he had won some sort of game, which Myra did not even know she was playing.

Her anger grew tenfold. Kylo Ren could feel it from his room, four floors above where Myra was, and it was as if she were right next to him. He wondered briefly what she could possibly be involved in at this hour that could make her so angry. He remembered the first time he had felt her anger, it was unimaginable then, now it was twice as strong.

Kylo Ren knew he had no reason to care why she was so enraged, and he knew that in such a state he was likely one of the last people on the ship she could ever want to see; second only to whoever she was with now. In spite of his efforts to ignore her presence, he was drawn to it; like a like a warrior to a battlefield.

Every step closer to her in the hallway, every second down the elevator, he could feel her more intensely. He imagined, when he finally caught up to her, she would be rather formidable. Just being on the same floor as her made him feel as if the weight of her anger would crush him. He hoped briefly that he would never do anything to make her so angry with him, although he suspected simply showing up would be enough to achieve that dreadful outcome.

After he was moments away from seeing her again, he froze. He waited behind the corner, considering that he should turn around instead of making his presence known. After all, whatever she was doing was none of his business, and he had ruined every interaction they had already; but her anger made him angry. It made him want to destroy whoever or whatever had caused it.

"Why are you so hell bent on destroying my career?" He heard Myra ask vehemently, and he knew immediately who the other person involved was. The same low ranking officer who made similar threats the first time he saw her.

"I told you I'd get you kicked off this ship, and you were stupid enough to slip up. You deserve to be discharged. There isn't an officer on this ship that wouldn't discharge you for sleeping with another crew member."

Upon hearing such comments Kylo Ren finally rounded the corner, and made his presence known. She would not be discharged or transferred to any other ship if he could help it, and he could.

Adam instantly stood at attention and gave a light bow of his head. Myra turned to see who had joined them and was shocked to see the Supreme Leader. She had expected to find another low ranking officer, who was barely above Adam. Her shock only lasted for a moment before she gave the Supreme Leader pleading eyes. She knew he heard what she had done, and could only expect that he would be on board with her discharge; but if there was anyone who could stop it, it was him.

She saw the anger on his features; the set jaw, the dark, brooding eyes, the hostile pout of his lips. Unlike the last time she saw him, she was not afraid of him. He seemed more present this time, more real and human; therefore less terrifying and lethal. Myra did not know if it was the high from the sex she just had, or the rage from her unpleasant interaction with Adam, or remembering the butterflies he gave her just the other day; but she found herself wildly attracted to Kylo Ren as she saw him looking dark and confident. As she saw him comfortable in his own skin, wearing his anger like a badge of honor.

"Is there anything I can do for you Supreme Leader?" Adam said, confident that Myra would be discharged without being able to put up a fight now that the Supreme Leader knew of her misdeeds. No one could argue with the highest command once he ordered her removal.

"Leave us." The Supreme Leader's voice was harsh and commanding, as any subordinate would have expected.

Adam gave Myra one last triumphant look before walking away, back in the direction he had come from hours ago. Myra gave him one last menacing glare at his back before looking back at the Supreme Leader, then at the ground in shame.

The air was thick and heavy with silence, the Supreme Leader too angry to know what to say, even if he knew his anger was unreasonable. At first he was only angry at whomever had angered Myra, but once he heard what she had done he became angry with her. He knew he should not care what she did with her leisure time; after all, it was a rule implemented by General Hux, not the Supreme Leader himself. However, the thought of Myra being with any man sickened him, and the realization of his own jealousy only made him angry with himself in addition to his anger with her.

His silence as he stared at her, seething, began to make Myra shift uncomfortably, and she finally decided to break the silence; no longer caring if it was inappropriate considering the circumstances.

"I'm sorry sir, but why are you here?"

"I came to see you." The Supreme Leader stated, through gritted teeth.

"What, why?" Myra wondered out loud, with an incredulous gasp.

"I could feel you, your anger, up in my own quarters. I came down to find out what made you so angry as to disrupt my evening." He continued to stare her down, feeling secure in his anger toward her.

"I'm sorry. As I'm sure you heard, Adam will have me discharged immediately; so you won't have any future disruptions from me." Myra had been too angry to really understand the weight of what was about to happen. Now that the heat of the moment had simmered to nothing, she began to cry at the realization of how she had squandered her best chance so quickly. Her crying was as silent as the grave her aspirations would now reside in, and her face as motionless as stone; but the tears still fell from her eyes in waves.

Kylo Ren's own expression began to soften at the sight of her distress. He knew it had nothing to do with him, if anything it had more to do with her apparent lover; but he was glad she did not want to leave.

"He will do no such thing." He stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Myra looked at him in disbelief, "What will happen?"

"That boy will be transferred to another ship, Hux had already signed off on it weeks ago. Apparently he's made a lot of threats to subordinates, and has become a nuisance."

"What will happen to me?"

"Nothing."

"Even if the things he's accused me of are true?"

"I do not care what you do with your personal time."

Myra was not convinced.

"Then why are you angry?" She questioned, staring at his clenched fists. She knew it could be dangerous to pry, and she ran the risk of making her situation worse, but she had to know.

"It's where my power comes from. Anger makes me stronger, and your anger is so strong it fuels mine." It was half true at least, but Kylo Ren would never admit his own jealousy to her.

"Then why were you so angry the last time we met? I wasn't angry then."

"That is none of your concern." Hi expression grew darker again, and Myra realized that question was a mistake.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to overstep my boundaries, but seeing how we keep running into each other against all odds…" Myra trailed off, not sure where she was trying to take the conversation.

Kylo Ren stared at her patiently, his curiosity beginning to circumvent his anger. He would wait all night to find out the rest of her thought if he had to.

"I guess I just want to understand you. I don't want to be so scared of you. You've actually been nice to me every time I've run into you, but I'm afraid anyway and I hate it." Myra was embarrassed the second the words left her mouth, already deciding she had just given too much information.

Kylo Ren stepped closer to her without thinking, "I don't want you to be afraid of me either."


	12. Chapter 12

Months had passed since Myra had last spoken with the Supreme Leader outside of her room, and she had not seen him since. He had told the truth, and Adam was transferred to another ship the following week, and no disciplinary action was taken toward her. Despite having no consequences, she had not gone back to Luca's room since that night. He had tried making several advances toward her since, and even showed up at Myra's door at night on occasion; and Myra always turned him away.

She was not sure why she was so apprehensive, everything had worked in her favor. The Supreme Leader had even told her that he did not care what she did in her spare time, but Myra could not shake the feeling that if she were to be caught by him again, it would not end well. Even when he told Myra he did not want her to be afraid of him, Myra could not prevent herself from believing that he did. He was too terrifying and powerful to not enjoy the trepidation he elicited everywhere he went.

Luca knew Myra's concerns. He had been understanding at first, but each time Myra denied him she could sense his growing indignation. He had become so frustrated with her after the first three months that their friendship eventually began to taper off, until it was non-existent. The mornings that used to be filled with chatter and banter became dull and silent, once shared meals were eaten at separate tables, and they no longer sought each other out in their time off.

Myra had become overwhelmed with her loneliness, and the ability to make friends was in short supply in her current position; making Myra more determined to scour the postings for other positions, than she had been in a long time. She was underqualified for most of the positions she found, having only six months' worth of experience working for the First Order. Most positions required at least two years, but Myra searched nonetheless. As she sifted through the postings on her data pad she began to let her mind wander and focus on her art supplies on the bookshelf. She had created many portraits of people she saw on a regular basis; one of General Hux giving his endless boring speeches, a few Storm-troopers she had come to recognize, but most were of Luca. Even after months Myra could not deny that she missed him dearly. Myra had done quite a few difficult things in her life, she had once walked home with a broken knee, she knowingly broke the heart of a boy she did not want to hurt, and she had left home and willingly joined a war she did not have to fight in; but standing next to someone she adored every day and pretending they were a stranger was by far the most difficult. Myra began to feel such overwhelming grief for her lost friendship that she almost missed the one post in a million she actually met the qualifications for.

She frantically scrolled back up, hoping she could find the post again. After several minutes of scrolling back and forth trying to find it, Myra finally felt the relief of seeing an entry level position. It was labeled "Promotional Advertising", and Myra knew immediately that meant propaganda. This specific position was similar to archiving; she would still have to sort and file data, but this time it would be for live projects and not information that sometimes went back decades. The position was also several floors above where she currently spent her work days, which meant there would be more opportunities to meet new people.

Myra hoped to get the position for the potential of friends alone, but meeting more people also meant more opportunities to make acquaintances in high places for when she would eventually look to actually promote. It was too good of an opportunity to miss, and Myra applied for the position as quickly as she read its description. She wondered how long it would take before she heard anything about the position; whether or not there would be an interview, if she would just receive a notice of approval or denial, or if she would even receive a denial notice if she would not be granted the position.

Myra also wondered what type of officers she might meet in such a position, and what political agendas they would want that team to push on any given planet. She even found herself daydreaming, briefly, that she might run into the Supreme Leader on that floor. It had been a while since she had seen him, and she had yet to see him under pleasant circumstances. While she did not expect that to change any time soon, she yearned for a familiar face that did not greet her with unbearable silence. As gauche and volatile as the Supreme Leader was, at least he always had a conversation with her when their paths crossed.

It did not take long before Myra's daydream turned into anxious hope that she would get to see the Supreme Leader in the near future, and nervous anxiety that she would not.

Myra realized that she had been sitting in one spot for too long and began to feel a tingling in her legs. She decided a walk would be best to stretch them out, but immediately upon sanding Myra's legs felt so wobbly that she almost fell straight to the ground. She suffered through the sharp stinging with every step as she walked from the corner of the floor she had been curled up in to the bed, fortunately it was an incredibly short distance.

After at least half an hour of Myra tossing and turning in an attempt to get comfortable with seizing feeling in her legs, she finally began to drift off to sleep; and indulge in the strangest and most enjoyable dream she had since began life on the Finalizer.


	13. Chapter 13

Myra's sleep was usually empty and dreamless, and this change was welcome.

She had dreamed she was standing in the middle of a forest, staring out over a massive lake. When she looked across the lake she could still see the other side clearly, but it was minuscule. She did not even need to look left or right down the shore, which was a mix of cold, dark sand and small smooth pebbles, to know she would not see an end in either direction. She recognized this lake from a planet she visited when she was young. She remembered the lake had been significantly wider than it was long. Myra stared at the soft waves in the lake, and it's perfectly clear water, with a certain sense of contentment she had not felt in her in waking life since she was a young girl. She did not know if she could ever truly feel so content again. Now that she was with the First Order life was mundane and monotonous. The only human interaction she enjoyed was with a psychotic murderer, and even that relationship was new and strained. She felt that she was still wearing her standard uniform which felt out of place given her setting. She should have been in one of the light dresses her mother had packed for her the first time she been to that lake.

It took Myra a moment to notice the feeling of eyes watching her and slowly turned around to see who they belonged to. She paused for a moment upon seeing Kylo Ren, indulging herself in his warm brown eyes. He looked serious and focused, but she couldn't discern whether he was focusing on her or zoning out in her direction while he focused on something much bigger. She noticed that he was wearing his usual work attire too, and thought briefly that they were on this planet for a mission. Though she could not conceive what that mission could possibly have been.

She noticed an eagle that soared overhead, and smiled up at it as it let out a loud screeching sound. It had been a long time since she had seen one. It had been a long time since she had seen any life that was not human. Myra decided to engage the Supreme Leader, she had a feeling he was there for her and she was waiting for a long time. As she did she was reminded of how tall he was. If he didn't look down at her he could have seen straight over her head, never noticing she was there at all. Her head barely even reached his shoulders.

"You're late." Her voice was soft and quiet as she spoke, much like the first time she spoke to him in the hallway; but it was less strained. There were no traces of anxiousness or fear, which she had felt every time she had seen him previously. Now it felt easy and comfortable.

Kylo Ren stood silently and stared at her, so she walked right past him back toward the thickness of the forest; walking in the direction she was most familiar with. Where the sand began to mix with dirt again she stopped and looked back at him questioningly, so he began to follow her; keeping a distance of several feet as they moved toward their destination.

After what seemed like a ridiculous amount of time walking through the forest, on a fairly direct path, the pair approached his ship, the TIE silencer. Myra could feel that the Supreme Leader was no longer following her, but this was not her destination and she was determined to get there with or without him. She had to see her grandmother's cottage one last time.

After another moment Myra could feel the Supreme Leader behind her again and was relieved. She could have gone alone, but she much preferred to have his company. Even if he was quiet and brooding.

They walked up to a clearing with the brick cottage at the center, surrounded on all sides by a garden. A section of the garden off to the left side was designated to growing fruits and vegetables, and the rest of the garden that made its way around the whole cottage comprised of vibrant flowers that varied in size, shape, and color. As the two approached the cottage Myra glanced at the window boxes that held small white flowers.

The two stopped in front of the door and Myra pulled a key from her pocket and unlocked the door. She was not sure how the key got there, but she was grateful that she was able to get in. As she stepped inside the Supreme Leader followed her quickly and closely for the first time, and Myra could sense his eagerness. She wondered briefly if he recognized this cottage too, before dismissing the thought as silly. How could he possibly recognize her grandmother's cottage?

Much to Myra's disappointment the home was empty. There was nothing but doors and a stairway leading to other rooms. Myra stood still, deciding it would make sense for the cottage to be emptied after her grandmother had passed, and she watched Kylo Ren stalk forward into the next room.

As Kylo searched the house Myra went out to the shed in the back, knowing there would still be fire wood out there that she could bring inside. In the shed she also found an old, small couch her grandmother had always talked about getting rid of, shielded by a cloth cover. Myra piled the logs she found on top of the couch and began to pull it by the side, dragging it onto the yard. While the couch was small, it was heavy. As Myra struggled to pull it back to the cottage the couch left lines of torn up grass from where the legs stubbornly raked the soft ground.

Myra was relieved when she was able to get the couch in the cottage, and even more relieved that the couch was small enough to fit through the doorways.

Once the couch was in the main sitting room Myra pulled the logs off of the couch and placed them next to the fire place. She then pulled the dusty cover off of the couch and placed it under the couch to keep it out of the way. As she finished hiding the cover she wondered what could be taking the Supreme Leader so long. What could he be looking for in this dusty old cottage that was so important to him?

After what felt like eons the Supreme Leader finally descended the stairs, seeming utterly disappointed, and walked back into the main room of the cottage. Myra decided that he did not find whatever he was searching for.

Kylo Ren walked over to the couch, which was only a few feet from the fire place, and sat down and he watched Myra start a fire. The fire grew, and became warm and bright rather quickly. Myra sat next to him, knowing she should ask his permission first. He out ranked her significantly, and being casual in his presence could end badly for her if he was in a particularly elitist mood; but Myra decided she did not care. She sat next to him without his permission and was grateful when he did not say anything. They both stared at the fire for a while, feeling content. Myra could not help but relish this moment and his presence.

Kylo Ren eventually broke the silence, almost startling Myra, "What's your name?"

Myra laughed. "Don't be silly, you know my name." It was utterly ridiculous to ask, after they had spoken so many times now. Even with all his ridiculousness Myra could not help but smile at him. He had seemed so genuine in wanting to know her, and she quite desperately wanted to know him.


	14. Chapter 14

Myra awoke the next morning to find, much to her dismay, that she did not receive the position she had applied for the previous night. She could not believe the speed the First Order used in the process of rejecting her application, and started her morning feeling sour. Myra had expected it would take at least a couple of days before they had made a decision. Myra understood that the First Order was one of the most efficient organizations to ever exist, and an organization that only wants the best; but she still felt she was being cheated by not being given more of a chance at the position.

Myra spitefully got ready for her shift. She had a very short routine of showering, brushing her teeth, and tying her hair back into the standard tight bun. As soon as Myra was finished she headed straight for archives, being too upset to even stomach the idea of eating.

Myra arrived so early that the only person there was her supervisor, Akio, he looked frantic; like a meerkat scrounging for food.

"What has you in such a hurry this early?" Myra questioned, reveling in the surprised jump Akio gave at hearing another voice in the room.

"I wasn't hungry, and there's not a lot to do for entertainment around here, so I came in early."

"You should eat breakfast, it'll be a long time before you'll be able to get your next meal," Akio stated, not from a place of concern for Myra's wellbeing, but as a fact and not wanting to listen to any complaints about being hungry in a few hours.

"I'll be fine, I doubt I'll be any more up to it later than I am now anyway."

"Did something happen?" Now Akio seemed intrigued.

"The first position that opened that I qualify for after months of being here, and I got denied in less than twenty four hours after applying. I feel like I'm going to be stuck down here forever." Myra's discouragement was evident in her tone.

"You won't. You're a good worker, you'll promote up eventually; and even if you don't being down here isn't so bad. It's not glamorous or exciting, but it is one of the safest jobs on this ship. You don't have to fight on the front lines and you're not at high risk of being terminated. It's a secure job." If Myra did not know better she would have thought Akio was offended that she wanted to leave, but Myra did know better. He just wouldn't want the hassle of going through the hiring process again.

"I don't want to be safe if it means never setting foot on another planet again. Or having to work in awkward silence with Luca."

"What happened between you two? You used to be attached at the hip."

"Mutual ghosting after I decided I wanted to stop having an affair with him." Myra did not know why she decided to tell him the truth so bluntly rather than lie; as soon as the words left her mouth she knew she would regret them eventually.

Akio looked surprised for the first time since Myra started working on the Finalizer. "Yeah, I can see why you want to leave then. And you will, the First Order doesn't recruit just anybody to work on the Finalizer. You're here because someone above me saw potential in you, you've just got to wait for the right spot to open up. Believe me when I say, if you didn't get this one it definitely isn't it."

"Thanks Akio." Myra had only been so honest with her supervisor because she was in such a bad mood, but she was glad she had spoken with him. It felt like the impending doom of her stagnant situation, which had been looming over her head since she woke up, was finally starting to dissipate.

"Well, if you're done wallowing in despair I do have a job to get back to. I have more files to bring to the Supreme Leader. He's been asking for them a lot lately."

"The Supreme Leader?"

"Yes, it's not out of the ordinary. Occasionally he will ask for files to conduct research for his missions. Usually they have something to do with ancient Jedi locations. I suspect that was to aid him in the First Order's search for Luke Skywalker. But now the information he's requesting seems so random I can't piece together what it would be for."

"I would never have known he requested it often, I've only seen him down here once." Myra remembered the conversation they had when they walked in the hallway, the sheer awkwardness between the two of them was something she wished she would forget.

"That's the only time he has ever come here in person. Every other time he's just send a message stating what he wants, and they only come through to me; so there wouldn't be a way for you to know when he was looking for something."

"I can bring it to him again. It looks like you've got a million other things to do here, and I don't actually start for another thirty minutes anyway." Myra did not hesitate to offer her assistance. She tried to play it off as an attempt to be a helpful subordinate, but as soon as she heard Akio say 'Supreme Leader' Myra felt a burning need to see him again.

"I would never have you do such a thing after what happened last time." Akio stated with a very final tone, but Myra was not going to take no for an answer.

"It wasn't a big deal, I was just overreacting because I was scared of him. And I need to get my face and name recognized by some of the higher ranking officers to increase my chances of getting a higher position. Taking this to the top floors and being seen speaking with the Supreme Leader seems like a good place to start."

"Fine, you can take it again; but if you come back in the same state as you did last time you're not going up there with my consent ever again."

"That's fair." Myra said taking the data chip from him.

"Thank you, this really does take a lot off my plate."

"Anytime." Myra said practically running out the door, trying and failing to contain her excitement. She was a little optimistic in believing that Akio had actually believed her story about wanting to put her face out there. But he did not let on that he knew she was up to something.

Myra remembered how to get to the Supreme Leader's room so well she was embarrassed. Once she was standing outside of his door she knocked eagerly and she heard the loud swooshing sound as it opened almost immediately.

Kylo Ren had anticipated her presence a while before she had arrived. He could feel a dull excitement radiating from her for several minutes, and brooded over what could be so exciting to her. As the feeling began growing stronger he realized she was heading in his direction, and he began to feel a similar excitement to her own.

Myra took a step into his room and immediately turned around in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry sir, should I come back later?"

"No it's fine." Kylo Ren said feeling slightly smug. He had just showered before she had started heading up to his floor and had yet to put his shirt on. He had pondered putting it on before she got there for a solid minute, and decided he wanted to see what her reaction to him would be instead. After all, it is not like she would know he did it on purpose.

He walked around to the front of her, "What brings you here?" The Supreme Leader asked, genuinely interested in her response. He could not think of a viable reason she would have come to his room, while he enjoyed her company they were not friends.

Myra held out the data chip for him. "Akio said you needed these files. He was working on several other projects, so I offered to bring them to you in his place."

Kylo reached out to grab the chip from her. He remembered instructing Akio to bring it himself, but he could not be upset about this outcome; and after having asked for Myra by name before he could not blame Akio for knowing he would be more pleased with this.

"Thank you," He said as he reached out for the data chip. Much to Myra's disappointment, he took the chip and walked over to the corner of his room with the monitor and turned it on without saying any more. Myra took that as her que to leave.

She took one last glance at him and started to walk back out toward the hallway.

"Not yet." She barely heard the Supreme Leader say from inside his room. Myra walked back toward his room cautiously, not sure if he was talking to her or if he was speaking rhetorically at the information on his monitor.

"I'm sorry sir, were you talking to me?"

"Of course, who else would I be talking to?" He spoke as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I don't know, whatever you were looking at last time I was in here." Myra regretted her statement the second it left her lips. She froze and stared at the Supreme Leader wide eyed, realizing her mistake.

He turned his head to look at her so fast she was surprised it did not roll off of his shoulders.

"I'm sorry sir; that was out of line." Myra looked at the ground, no longer excited to be in his presence.

"You and I were the only people in this room."

"Then why did you look at me the way you did? I've heard weird things can happen with force sensitive people, and you can see things that aren't there. Is that what happened?"

"Yes, it had something to do with the force; but that's nothing you need to worry about. It's not happening now." He looked at her calmly. He would never tell her that he had seen Rey, or that it was a regular occurrence; but he was glad he had the opportunity to give her some sort of vague explanation after the way she left so afraid.

She nodded as she looked back at him, noticing his hair looked damp. Myra presumed he had showered very recently, which also explained his lack of clothing. Myra could see his muscles well through the tank top he had worn the last time she was in his room with him, but now she could see with insane detail how attractive his body truly was. She could really admire how his abs were still visible as he stood hunched over a desk, and how muscular and strong his arms looked; perfect for picking her up and pinning her against a wall.

Myra shook her head slightly at that thought, as if the physical action could put a stop to her indecent thoughts; which it did not. What put a stop to her thoughts was the realization that she was staring, and the Supreme Leader noticed it.

Myra could feel her cheeks redden slightly, as she turned away and stared out the massive window to her left instead. It did not take long before she could feel his presence right behind her back, only a few inches away. He set his hand on her shoulder lightly before saying, "You can leave now if you want, I've checked the data you brought and I have everything I need."

Myra nodded and turned around slowly. She noticed, rather annoyed that the top of her head barely came up to her chest. She was, however, the perfect height to see the scar on his left side from a blaster wound; and touched it without thinking. Kylo's skin was burning hot, and the scar was rough and unpleasant to the touch; just as Myra expected a scar would be. Myra looked up at him, hand still on his side, and noticed he had a scar that looked very similar on his shoulder; and the scar that split his face went all the way down to his other shoulder.

Myra finally looked up as far as his face; grateful for the look of patience on it, rather than one of hostility.

"Do they hurt?" She wondered out loud.

"Not anymore." His voice was soft, but rough at the same time; like he was restraining himself from something, but Myra could not decipher what it would have been.

He lifted a hand to touch her cheek, but stopped midair and let his hand hang in a light fist back at his side.

"If you don't go soon, someone will come looking for you." As much as Myra did not want to believe he was right, she knew he was. And with her luck Akio would send Luca.

"Yeah, I'll go. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have stayed so long." Myra began to walk away from him, mortified by how intimately she had touched him when it was clearly unreciprocated.

Kylo Ren watched her back as she left, unsure of whether or not is was better to let her walk away before things went any further. In a moment of weakness, deciding it was not, he spoke as she reached his door, "You can come back when your shift is done."

Myra looked behind her, the shock on her face evident.

"Yes sir," she responded as she continued to walk out his door and into the hallway.

By the time Myra had reached archives she was a few minutes past the start of her normal shift.

"That took a lot longer than I expected, did everything go okay this time?" Akio questioned her.

"Yeah, it was fine. He was just very thorough about making sure he had everything he needed before sending me back." Myra stated as she walked over to her monitor to start her usual work.

"Who was very thorough?" Luca began interrogating. Myra was surprised he had any interest in anything she did, considering that it was the first time they had spoken in months.

"The Supreme Leader." Myra stated, not interested in having this conversation with him.

"Ah, your knight in shining armor?" Luca questioned with a bitter tone, referencing the time the Supreme Leader had found her both when she was lost and when she had been confronted by the dreadful Adam.

Myra noticed then that Akio had found an excuse to leave the room, and decided not to hold back.

"Fuck off Luca, I need someone to talk to now that you sulk about not getting a good fuck all the time."

"I just think it's kind of shitty to lead someone on when you know they're into you and then blue ball them. Nice guys should be treated better."

"Have you ever stopped to consider that you not being treated better is because you're not actually a nice guy?" Myra retorted angrily.

"That's bullshit, I did nice things for you all the time."

"Yeah because you wanted to get in my pants, and the second you realized that wasn't gonna happen again you stopped being nice; which makes you a not nice guy."

The rest of the shift was worked in angry silence, and Myra could not wait for the end. She knew it would drag on, because she was livid with Luca, but also because there was the possibility of seeing the Supreme Leader at the end of the day. While Myra did not know how that encounter was going to go, she was desperate for some sort of attention that was not either angry or awkward silence. She was desperate for Kylo Ren's attention.


End file.
